Wednesday, August 24, 2016

A new way to beat heavy traffic.

In the city where I live mass transit buses are allowed to use the shoulders by the freeway during rush hour. One very tangible benefit to public transportation.

I had no idea this was allowed. I had seen the signs "Watch for Buses on Shoulder" and never
dreamed the huge things would be rumbling down the unused lane. One day, sitting in traffic, grooving to some music and enjoying life as much as possible in gridlock, a bus flew past me. Driving on the shoulder, kicking up gravel and making excellent time, compared to everybody else.

What a great idea. I stopped at the hardware store and bought some painters tape, (initially I was going to buy spray paint, but that seemed kind of permanent, what if it doesn't work out) and put the logo, sort of, best as I could, with painters tape, on the side of my car.

Figuring it would look more realistic if there were passengers in "the bus" I cut out some pictures from a magazine and taped them to the window. Here is a little tip, if it looks like rain, tape the "riders" to the inside of the window.

Next time traffic was stopped I just cruised onto the shoulder and zipped along to my exit. It was genius.

Except for all the gravel. It was awful, so noisy I could barely hear the music.

Emergency vehicles don't have to settle for the shoulder! Fantastic. Red tape, and some mixing bowls painted like flashing lights glued to the top of my car. Man, I was in business. I hooked up a speaker under the hood and played siren noises through my iPhone. People couldn't get out of the way fast enough. And if they didn't I dropped a ticket or two on them.

Life was good, until the real emergency people stopped me. Tomorrow is my court date. I am going dressed as the judge. I plan on issuing a full pardon.