Thursday, October 29, 2015

Our morning commute, and The Very First Life Explained Christmas Commercial

With our cable television we received a DVR (Digital Video Recorder).  A revolutionary device that records the things we want to watch while we are watching something else we want to watch.  Proving the theory that there is always "something good" on TV, not only something good, but often two things that have earned the "something good" classification, at least from my family.  After recording it we are free to watch it whenever we like, as often as we like, and we can skip the boring parts, and get right to the interesting bits.

However, the real magic in this electronic marvel is the ability to pause, rewind and fast forward "live television" (technically, it does not have to be live television, which is defined as "a television production broadcast in real time" and pausing it and rewinding, or fast forwarding through portions would ruin the spontaneity the producers hoped to achieve using "live television"). You can pause the program you are watching and grab a handful of corn chips, and some salsa, and maybe some cookies and milk, or crackers, cheese, and a drink, or a sandwich, potato chips and some dip, or a candy bar, and iced tea, or..., you get the idea.

I take a relatively busy freeway to work each morning, and an accident can really throw a wrench in the gears of commuting.  Knowing there is a tie up can really save time.  Watching the local traffic report is helpful. Sometimes, though an accident will happen after I leave and before I get to work.  If only there were a way to check the traffic report for the future, that would be great.

Thanks to a slight modification by Doctor Dawg, we are able to fast forward to television that hasn't happened yet. Now, before we leave for work we can check "future traffic"

One morning the traffic report showed our car in a small accident, right in the middle of the freeway. Nothing too serious, just a wrinkled fender, and probably a broken head light, which would still slow down everybody's commute, and drive up our insurance rate, and Doctor Dawg is already close to losing his license. So we took a different route.  We thought that was pretty bright.

Unfortunately it opened a tear in the time space continuum right where the accident was going to happen, and an army of demons poured out and destroyed most of freeway between the Fifth Avenue curve, and the Leonard Ave. exit. They were using cars and great big blocks of concrete and the wreckage of trucks to build a giant temple. Doctor Dawg and I barely managed to repel them and close the rift, before the completely ruined the morning commute.

It was real drain on the city budget, and tied up most of the road repair budget for the next several years, and several city council members and community leaders were really upset. Even though we managed to rush in and save the day they still blame us.  Ingrates, anyway.

Things have calmed down a little. Who knows what the future holds, though. We do, and in the next installment we will tell you.