Monday, July 11, 2016

A New Vacation, A New Threat, and Another Narrow Escape for Our Hero.

In an online exchange with one of the truly charming people on the internet, +Adele Archer, I had an epiphany. More correctly, I had something pointed out to me, An epiphany probably requires some form of self realization. Some flash of discovery. Some "aha" moment. It wasn't really like that at all.

I had pointed out the danger inherent in my wife's vacation choices. Which should make me wonder about my wife, or our relationship, or both. Further, I elaborated on the extent of the planning required to avoid catastrophe. Months of consideration, minute attention to detail, just to get back alive.

Adele pointed out that my best bet would be to avoid vacations. And this is true, partially. But, my wife is a very determined person. And to paraphrase Mr. T "I pity the fool who interferes with your wife's vacation plans."

So, I gamely plot, plan, and scheme ways to get back in one piece. Risk avoidance is an art. And I am an artist. Next year it is the North Shore of the Upper Peninsula in Michigan. In a cabin right on Lake Superior. A worthy opponent, to be sure.  In the words of Gordon Lightfoot.

"Does anyone know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?"

Or even more telling;

"Superior it is said never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early."

Cut the deck, right in half, I'll play from either side.
Of course, the gales of November are still probably enjoying a nice summer retreat in June or July when we are planning on being there, That will probably not present much of a problem. And, since danger is my middle name* we are off on a grand adventure.

There are several tours of shipwrecks in the area. Essentially, you climb on a boat, and ride it into the middle of a huge lake. A lake so big it swallows ships much bigger than the puny little skiff that you are bobbing around on, praying to the lord it doesn't sink. And you you look at some of those big boats that did sink. It is akin to slapping fate right in the face. But, what is vacation without a little white knuckled fear? Hardly worth the effort is it?

So, if you are interested in the planning process of my potential demise and great escape stay tuned to this blog. I will keep you apprised of my wife's pernicious plans and my narrow escape. As long as I am able to keep transmitting.


* In the interest of honest, fair and impartial blogging; Danger is not really my middle name, and if it was I would have it changed, quickly. Remember the old saying "Hero's songs may be sung, but those suckers die young." I am all for a little glory and acclaim as long as it is free.